we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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