hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
