just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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