so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
