Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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