It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
