Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
