Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
