Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
