soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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