This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
