I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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