She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
