I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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