so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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