hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
