there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
