can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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