is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
