I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
