i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize