sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
