I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
