Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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