P.S. I can't hear my feet
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
