I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
