the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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