This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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