Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
