Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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