Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
