Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
