I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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