i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
