I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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