i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
