I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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