just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
