there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
