cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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