She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
