I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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