she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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