You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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