I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
