But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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