We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
