There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
