the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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