found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How does one acquire holy water?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
