i jhust puked up my retainher.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
