singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
